Monday, May 6, 2013

Who are we to judge others?

I refer back to my first marriage alot because I bring so much from those experiences into my life now as a learning experience. Don't get me wrong there were GREAT times and those memories are treasured.  I think back at times when we seperated and divorced, what we could have done differently to make it easier on ourselves and our son.  I believe our son Travis suffered a great deal through the crap that was created through the divorce. Divorce isn't easy on anyone. There are so many emotions a person goes through when you spend so many vital years with someone and "poof" it seems to end just like that. What the heck happened, gosh I've asked that over and over to myself.  Alot of you are probably asking me why does it matter it was a long time ago!! Well it does matter because who wants to make those mistakes again?? Certainly not I and to now know what we went through opens my eyes alot with things I expiereince today. 

When we divorced we both lost friends.  It was like our friends were "divided" up in the divorce.  There were some who never talked to me again and some who I've reconnected with in the last few years which is amazing to me, I love it. And some who never left my side no matter what I might of done or said wrong, no one is perfect.  But when you loose those friends, those people who had been there for years and years, those who just take a side, it's heart breaking, but there's a reason for everything right? 

But then you have to ask, are they taking a side or is it really just easier to go in this direction?  I can't imagine because I don't want to be that person, who am I to judge or assume anything about anyone.  If  charlie brown left his wife and was dating somene 10 yrs younger what business is that of mine? And how do I know that Charlie Brown isn't going through some mid life crisis he may need some professional help with and this is just an easier escape? Wouldn't this be the time Charlie would need his friends the most?  Hey don't laugh if you don't know how that feels because it's very very common in situations like this.

My point to this is judging, we are all going to go through things in our lives and have friends who may go through divorce or support others when they are going through something.  What charlie brown does through this difficult time isn't my bussiness and what kind of friend am I, or would I be if I kicked him to the curb because of the desicions he makes.  It's important in our life that we need to be true to ourselves but if you can't have the same standard when it comes to those you tell your secrets to you aren't really who you think you are! Wouldn't you agree?

I think it's time that people put up or shut up.  I need to be true to my friends as I would hope they would be to me if I ended up like Charlie Brown. I don't need people to judge me when I'm going through my life issues, thats what I need the most .  I'm certainly going to hold true to do the same for those in my life who are my friends.  Aren't we suppose to stick together when we're going through the hardest times in our lives?
Out of all the people who has come into my life over the years I have a hadful of people that I can trust and still feel comfortable telling my deepest darkest secrets to if I needed to because I know I won't be pityed or judged.  I hope I can continue to strive to be a better person and friend if any of my friends had the unfortunate situation in their lives I hope I can be there for a support!