As a therapist change is something I analyse every day. I always find myself going back to the stages of change model.
- PreContemplation
- Contemplation
- Preparation
- Action
- Maintenance
I believe when a person is making a change in their lives they follow this model and most don't even know it exists. I didn't until I worked in behavioural health. Since then I hold myself accountable for the changes I make with myself, my career my friends and my family. I have to because it affects everyone around me at some point in some aspect. People change over the years. They become married, have children everything changes. Goals, career goals, priorities and ethics. When I think about who I was 13 yrs ago to who I am now I laugh, shake my head and think "what was I thinking". However, I truly believe our past brings us to who we are today.
Our individual experiences open our eyes and our heart breaks change our beliefs but our achievements increases our motivation. We are human, you have feelings, I have determination, you have priorities I have career goals. We all have the drive to be who we desire and in the end we become different people then who we were 10-15-20 yrs ago.
Lately, I have been looking at things differently in my life, who I spend my time with, who I care about and who truly cares about me. Wow have things really changed!!! Approx 6 months ago I spent time with someone who I barely knew. I realized how amazing she was in so many different ways. Because of our conversations she opened my eyes to some things I didn't ever think of or even consider. In the end it made sense ...I came to realize that I have changed in many different ways which in turn changed my priorities.
I remember needing a lot of people in my life and having such a huge desire to be liked and surrounded by people, that's not me anymore. I remember that the words didn't hurt me but I cared in silence, I am not that person anymore. Words hurt me and now I voice my feelings but protect my heart. I remember when I would push different things aside and not think of myself, now I am my priority because if I'm not ok I am not a good wife or mother. I am now in the action phase.
I can guarantee you there are things I wished I did differently in my life, I can kick myself for not being more assertive in the past. however, I can promise you I will do it right from this day forward. I can also tell you those who hurt me aren't going to ever do it again and I will always regret those who I forgot. I will always remember there's an underlying factor to human behaviour and consider exactly what this post is about..... She changed, he changed and I changed. It's not a bad thing...it's life....it's just how it is. We aren't meant to be who we once were.
Life goes on.............Right?
