It was heaven to me....

I am not a religious person, I have no dedicated path I'm on when it comes to my spiritual self.  However, I do believe in GOD an deep down I believe the good people do go to a better place when they die, I simply believe it's their conscious they die with.

Having said that (which could lead to many more discussions) today I experienced my heaven.  I decided to take our daughter and a friend out with my mother, meeting my father and husband. We got on our boat and headed up the Colorado river. I'f you've ever experienced the river from fishers landing you know what I'm saying.  the wind blew my hair back as I good in the deepest breath of the river aroma and probably a few Gnats in the meantime.  I closed my eyes (after I knew the girls were ok) and enjoyed the air flowing as we moved up river.  We arrive approx 5 mile sup and it was amazingly gorgeous.  There was no one at all in this area, it was quiet and very calm. I took a couple deep breaths, felts the sun on my face and listens to the giggles of the girls.

after a LONG week, this was my heaven.

Chapter 20?

I am not even close to starting  chapter 1.  I promised myself when I am done with college I would write a book, it would not be in correlation of my blog, I don't keep up with my words but I have feelings and  experience I feel others could benefit from.  Tonight was an a amazing experience for me, if you know my my career is so important me, I am driven to succeed.  I work hard to support those who work for me while continuing to lead in a direction of success for all of us.  We supported each other tonight, even after a long day of work and dedication to our members, we still came out and celebrated.
Amazing people who work for me and who I work for.....I am so proud to be a part of the team and I honour to continue the support and motivation that we've had to this day. There's no I in team

Alot in our lives have changed since I last wrote on my blog...I couldn't even start to catch up.  However in the same sense I will keep up.

Chapter 1 will start Feb 2015  "The beginning of What"

Amazing Triumphs

WOW
today we find ourselves in different positions because we are hitting milestones. I finish my 2nd Masters in Feb and Eli will mid year 2015. He's worked so hard on his education I'm so proud f him. I recently have felt in a major sandbar..stuck and sinking!  All you river rats can relate.
Today a mile over came me that no only is my husband retiring in 22 days that our daughter returns to school in 5 days and I needs to get my ass going and get that dream job.  My husband doesn't know this but in my heart of hearts I want him to enjoy his life, i' so career driven and so motivated to rock the world, I hope someday I can turn around and take care of him.

This week has been hard for me, I've come home crying and disturbed from certain things I've encountered.  He comes around an makes stupid ass but funny as hell jokes to take my mind off of the heart breaking conundrum I was challenged with.  Oh my ........even if the joke was not ok, he's amazing to me to have the focus to help me get through what I was going through. He's fabulous.

With eli retiring this year from a job that has "controlled" him for 21 yrs he has to adapt to civilian life and it's going to be challenging.  However, at the same time Eli is a very determined man and will focus on his priorities and his skills and work towards that

2914 and 2015 are going to be gift and successful years., I just feel it.

The eyes......and of course the Pinky Swear

you can tell a lot from what a person's eyes.  Today I made a connection with a friend I never thought I would experience in a million years.  The crazy thing is we are so different and  have such different aspects and opinions but when we just made that quick "hi how are you..you pinky swear" moment , it was truly a connection you rarely find in a persons life. 

you come across many people in your life often finding yourself thinking or over thinking about he or she or what might be they agenda they may have.  Today in society there isn't a safe place, you have to be about your self but it's defiantly the greatest feeling when you have that pinky swear moment and you know your friend is right there with you. 

thank you for giving me that trust, that amazing friendship that you've allowed me to experience that I know my words are safe with you.....the eyes told me so. 

a brilliant voice....and no one knows

I find myself going in a million different directions...just when you thing you find where you belong something drops in your lap that tells you this is defiantly where you need to be. To add to that you have a child who is so talented and doesn't know it and unwilling to hear that the talent is there. We have a daughter who we would go to the ends of the earth for exposing her AMAZIng vocal talent to be found.  It isn't just a parent saying that our daughter is good.....she is really GOOD!!
What saddens me is that she LOVES to sign but she doesn't want anyone to know???? WHY NOT? She can sing an ADELE song like she owns it....why doesn't she want anyone to know? I can't grasp this....she is at her most happiest when she sings why does she hide it?

The Mom in the mirror.............BUTTe Friends are the best..

I remembered tonight the many nights I cried wondering who I am and what direction I need to go in.  I fell in love a million times from the age of 11  and up...I experienced things that I would die if our daughter lightly threaded. 
However our daughter cried to me tonight about challenges that shes experiencing and I was NOT prepared for.  I found my self putting my therapist face on rather then the parent ......
why I did this is because I know the parent in me would be no good to do....the therapist in me would be better. Inturn, this is very detrimental to my relationship with my daughter because I cannot be her therapist and parent at the same time.....I am in a "conflict of interest" situation. 

The more I thought about all of the stuff I'm starting to go through I think about who I and what brought me to this...who and what pushed me to direct to behavioural health .........well I'll tell you

I give KUDOs to the Dana Harrison who laughed at me because I bumped into a car to avoid getting beat up, I now sit on a Anti-Bullying task force.  As well as Jennifer Vanswearingons who forced me to be a better person and not bulling and degradation. 
I thank the Science teacher who was willing to give more then 5 minutes of his time and I am sorry I do not remember your name.  The Shelly and Shawn Lamere who hated me to the ends of the earth, I read alot and found that you've both become amazing individuals. 
But most of all, who loved me then liked me then hated me and who knows what was next....the most amazing woman I would love to give tribute  to is Kris Reynolds.  May she rest in peace....I get it.........it was the times. 
I thank the following amazing women  and Men
Jennifer Evens
Melanie Dodge
Trina Northey 
Stephanie King
Lori Martin
Daniel Ranier
Shawn Erickson
Dani  Case 
Robert Poppleton-10 folds

who made a difference in my life to some huge aspect that made me who I am today. There is no way I could of done with without you.  Melanie you are my one and only.......... 
you complete me.:0))))..........


Deana.......

EMCO Cutting Show January 2014-Kaitlynn is doing so good!!

We are so proud of her!!

Look at her go!!

my husband ...still my hero

If you only knew how much I love you....you are my life...my Hero