what today brings to my life

Happy Fathers day to my husband Eli...a man who is an amazing father!

 but to just bring myself back in time a bit....I didn't really grow up with a father who I was close too..yes I know who my dad is and yes I know he's the man who was married to my mother when i was conceived but we've never had the connection a father and daughter should have. I say that now because I see Kaitlynn and Eli and I love that they connect and they are so close..  I look at how my husband and daughter engage and I am so super excited they get to experience the real thing.  

DON"T get me wrong, it's not perfect they are not always seeing Eye to eye shes' a teenager now....but that is part of it right? parents are suppose to parent no matter what and one thing that we agree on as parents is the protection of our daughter. ( I might be a little more protective).  Eli is so patient and gets her....they laugh, have the same likes and are SO MUCH LIKE each other in so many ways and I love it!  they can be at the other end of the house playing their video games yelling at the tv, each other or just yelling and laughing and believe it or not that gives me tons of joy...I smile and so glad Kaitlynn has that. 

In addition to this post I'd like to give a huge shout out to the man who stepped up when he didn't have too..  Today we laughed about those times but it's a serious issue and I take his dedication seriously, Greg , thank you for being there for me as a teenager, kicking my ass when I needed it the most and being there today to not only STILL take that role on as a father but to be the most amazing grandfather to Kaitlynn that she can ever have. You are a gift from GOD for Us and I love and appreciate you.  

Tap're Lite

Endurance training is kicking my ASS!!

Each weekend for the last  6 weekends I lavish in carbs and drink and enjoy each moment....... and then Sunday night comes along and I dread tomorrow! 

http://www.bragincyuma.org/

kicking my butt! 

Each monday I know I have to fulfill my commitment to work out Monday -Thursday.......not even work out but to attend my SPARTAN endurance training. it's not your regular work out .....well for me it's torture it's hard core cardio hard core weight training, wall jumping lunge torture and a full of completing a workout. 

OK I SWEAT but never look this good doing it..........

my back hurts, my arms hurt, most days I feel like i'm dying and my knees.,omg my knees.......

and then I found www.kttape.com/

This is the best thing since Swedish fish was discovered. I can read over and over how this stuff works but I don't get it but I feel it and it works.....amazing product, i feel the outcome but still can't understand how it works.  

Anyways, it's Sunday and tomorrow I start  a new week--6th week in the class and I HAVE to over come the 4 ft wall...

It's going to rock because I'm going to crawl the wall this week!!

WTF just happened...???

WTF just happened to my life????

It's been 5 wks and it feels like 5 yrs since I became unemployed!  Shocker.........not really,.... reality.....reality hit hard when it happened. When you read those posts "open up and smell the roses" "reality just hit" no shit! Here I am.  

I went through the grieving process....shocked, sad, mad ----move on...blah blah blah.........
however there's a few people I can thank for this

STOMPING FEET...........dammit why do people have to be such assholes!!!! 

I just can't get over why people have to cause problems and not just do your day to day stuff and move on. go home happy and love your family and be true to your friends....why can't adults be adults and talk it out., why does honesty scare people? 

I think forever we'll always be asking these questions but it boils down to the facts about the person, who you are and who you feel you need to be. You may not care what other people think or feel but what's sad is that those who are nasty ugly people are ok with it themselves, they are able to fake that smile every day and know their hurting others and can sleep at night.

During my grieving process I wondered wow , what did I do wrong... is it me? I'm not perfect, yeah some of it is my fault, absolutely, I've made mistakes and I continue to learn by those mistakes but I know I extremely dislike unethical people and I can't stand those who are dishonest 

 I'm an honest person and even though it's the hardest thing to do is that I admit when I'm wrong and I take responsibility for my actions and I never in my life would want to hurt others. 

That,  I think is what people cant' handle.