An Independent Woman

To many times have I come across someone telling me about a woman being controlled by her man or that friend is venting that her husband won't let her something she really wants to do. Whether it's , take this class or be friends with this person. I used to have harsh opinions when I had this topic of conversation, lately I listen....if she needs help I'll help.  However, at the same time I have to remember what I went through for 9 yrs. My first marriage was tragic, I was a victim of physical and verbal abuse.  We were young and I was a different person then but when we divorced I remember I was so lost and scared I swore I would never allow a man to have control of my choices or feelings again. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad everyday.  We have an amazing son out of it and there are things I remember that he taught me over the years.  But I struggled with getting through with the shadow I carried feeling worthless, fat and a piece of shit.  It effected my life and relationships for many years, however I am the woman today from that experience so today, I am grateful to him because I am me! 

I continue to wonder, what makes a woman not want to be successful? I was always career driven, always enhancing my education. But what makes a woman allow a man to not allow her to have a friend or watch a certain TV show? It's so important woman learn to break this vicious circle of abuse.  Women need to  become more courageous and independent.  Stand up to him and tell him you are important too and your feelings matter.  I know it's easier said then done, I can totally relate with not knowing where to start.  I will never judge a woman in this situation, I will be sad for them, I will help them and support them. But it's something you have to want, be free and independent. 

I work on myself everyday.  If it's not my physical appearance, it's my education and career.  I am constantly wanted to improve who I am.  I won't lie and say I don't have bad days where I feel defeated, but those are decreasing rapidly.  I am working on my second Masters, in a job that I enjoy doing what I do well and I have the best man in my life I could ever ask for.  I just need to keep working on everything. 

Having a sense of worth is so important. No matter what your interests or beliefs are they are just as important as the next persons.  You need to love who you are and by doing the things you love and work towards the dreams you have that will happen.  This will also increase your drive to be motivated in other area's in your life.  Make a list of things you are constantly calling others for or to fix.  How often are you just taking the initiative to do it? This will be hard but it'll be an eye opener when you look at the list and see how much you really can do yourself and not have to depend on others. 

Decrease what you do for everyone else.  How often do those people "repay" for you helping them everyday with something.  Take a step back and realize if your not babysitting for Lucy every other day you could be taking a hot bath and relaxing, reading a book or taking a walk, doing something for yourself.  This will increase your self-esteem/self worth.  No matter how many people you think are your friends, well you probably need to reevaluate your life at this point.  Remember if you have continue doing everything for everyone else, when are you doing something for yourself?

Life can get overwhelming but how great will it be that it's finally YOUR overwhelmed life!!

The smartest thing a woman can ever learn, is to never need a man.