my husband ...still my hero

If you only knew how much I love you....you are my life...my Hero

WOW there is really someone who cares......

You go through life amazed at the people you come across, others wow you and then others break your heart.  We are an outgoing fun family, there's no doubt about it we know alot of people but there are very few I can ever call my friends. there aren't very people who would be there "for reals" when you need them.  Today....a friend proved to me.....no matter what we've been through no matter how bad it might have ever gotten she came today to share the joyous moment with me with kailtynn.  She didn't' come alone....her husband came, her best friend came, her son came and her brother came.   They didn't have too...they didn't even have to like it. The point is , they were there and were there because they cared and I could see that.  Out of all the people who have crossed my path and promised me they'd be there when I needed them, I didn't even tell her I needed a friend...but I really did and without her even knowing....she was there for me too.
My heart is heavy today, not only with the triumph of our daughter but the compassion this one person showed me in one day she had not only for my daughter, but for our friendship.  Thank you and please remember you are loved and appreciated!

With love
Deana

Rain Rain Rain and what about those less fortunate

So tonight I am sitting her at the very edge of my garage door opening thinking of the very thing most aren't thinking of....how are the homeless doing?  As much as we LOVE this rain, the cold weather the running water for our environment, has anyone stopped to think about how the homeless is handling this. We take this type of awesome weather for granted because we don't have to live with it just like we don't have to live with the heat like our homeless does.

I won't deny I am loving this amazing gift of water to our local community, it has certainly eliminated drought from our region.

So having said that the rain brings me out to the edge of my garage door opening and makes me think. there are so many many things to think about, things  to plan...things to prepare for.  In what aspect of life do you get to make those dire strait to reconcile issue desiccan?  is waiting for a tragedy long enough?

I think it's important that today we stop and think bout other people than ourselves and remember even in the winter in Arizona people suffer like they do in the summer and our help is desperately needed.  

When was the last time you helped the less fortunate?

He left me because I put my kids first.....

I have many friends from diverse walks of life and for me its unique because I'm unique as well. I have this veiw of acceptance, no bullshit and damn my family all together comes first. I don't take crap from any one or any man for that matter, however... my hubby and I but heads occasionally.  I love who I am and I love that I hold true to my ethics and values and don't allow a man or anyone for that matter to manipulate who I am .  I had a colleague tell me once. " he's unhappy because I put my kids first and I don't give him enough sex".  Today they are divorced....
Naturally I fell out of my chair and went on a OH HELL NO rampage. I was devastated that this beautiful woman who had the most amazing spirit who loved her children and husband so much was put in a position to choose. I don't know what happened in the end but I be a million dollars she put her kids first. 
My point is women are beautiful no matter what size, style, personality etc....we are amazing.  But at the same time we need to hold true to ourself and not allow our ethics to be manipulated. I can browse through people I know and state my opinion but every one is so unique, it makes me wonder why a man ( or women) wouldn't love someone even with the changes as much as he / she loved them in the beginning. 
I am a very analytical person and I watch my husband doing his thing and wonder, "damn why does he still love me' I have become such a bitch over the years (laughing while I write this) I am hard core..I am ok with having NO friends because I don't need drama and I want his attention alllll the time. Poor guy has to put up with my shit! I gained 50 pounds since we've been married I don't work as hard as I should to lose that weight. I'm always sick....Oh my Goodness! And this amazing man still loves me, still accepts me and doesn't need to be someone different who he was 13 yrs ago when we met. 
I want all my girl friends to know you are all gorgeous, successful and independent even if you don't think you are. We have the power to rule the world and men I believe are just  fricken afraid that we will. 

It isn't every day

 It isn't every day you meet those who you LOVE the be a part of.  We met Melissa and Cameron on accident when we joined our friend Jerry Gomes at bike week. (Thank you Jerry) Melissa and I had so much in common we couldn't stop talking.  It was instant friendship...talking about family, our occupations, dreams and bigger dreams. They are the type of people who you can be just yourself with, those who never judge or expect anything. 
We were invited to join their family for the 4th of July in Oceanside, CA.  We arrived and it was their family, their sisters, brothers family, aunt and uncle's family and the Gomes family and Grandma and Grandpa.  Even with 23 people together for 5 days we had fun, we laughed, and even cried a few times.  Walked a mile in other peoples shoes as those others in ours. Danced on the beach, rode the waves and made sand castles. 
All weekend we all came together to make sure meals were made and bathes were done.  Everyone knew where they were sleeping and some even just didn't care and hit the floor.  Hair wasn't perfect, clothes were sometimes dirty and even some unnecessary conversation happened over a few adult drinks. However,  in the end with a group of the travelling 23 it was the best time I've had with friends in such a long time. I can honestly say I created a friendship which will last forever. 
OH Yeah, I won't forget the 5 dogs, 1 cat, a bird and a beta fish. 
Thank you for the most amazing time and memories made with our family.  I will never forget you even though your moving already! Oh yeah I didn't cry until now! :0)

I thank GOD for his many blessings!

A True American Hero-A story you MUST read

Today I got up at 730am to take our 10yr old daughter to a basket ball clinic at Woodard Jr. High here  in Yuma, Arizona. Kaitlynn will be attending there this coming up school year. She and I are both a little nervous going to Jr. High so I thought this would be a little bit of exposure to the new school and students and she knows nothing about basketball. 

In our community our youth deal with so much stigma with outcomes which are dangerous--bullying.  Kaitlynn went through that at her elementary school and of course this makes her nervous.  Walking into the gym it was comfortable to me.  The kids were all playing together, I could see they were comfortable in their settings.  The school was inviting and the adults were involved with the kids. It was very positive, I was feeling better, however Kaitlynn was so scared though...she was pail as a ghost I could of sworn she was going to pass out.  

She observed for awhile getting the feeling of everything.  I asked maybe if this one gentlemen out with the kids might be ok with encouraging kaitlynn to get out there.  The TALL guy came over and introduced himself as Jamal Shueler, he is a professional basketball player.  He talked to kaitlynn and brought her out on the court to help her be more comfortable.  She agreed to go out there with him. 

Jamal Shuler-Played for Woodard in 2000 

Now plays professional Ball 

It is amazing to me that this was arranged and organized by the school and this man came back to where he started to give these youth a day they'll never forget.  The principle was there on the court and was extremely involved with these youth. As a parent going into new territory  I was extremely impressed with his involvement.  After awhile Kaitlynn became more comfortable and was having fun.  Her face was lite up to be standing by these older girls and watching them to learn how to do the drills. 

He did some one on one coaching with Kaitlynn, they watched a video on his skills and then they did drills and played some ball. My point to my post is this man didn't know my daughter or any of these kids for that matter.  He travelled to give these youth some encouragement and motivation in this sport.  And he did just that.   On the court with them coaching the youth and giving them high fives. 

During the clinic there were competitions and the kids were loving it.  Winners of each different drill/competition were winning prizes, basketball arm sleeves. He brought them and handed them to the youth personally after each win. 

In the end I noticed that he was walking towards Kailtynn, he had 1 sleeve left he said this was for the most special and bravest player, and he gave it to kaitlynn.  

Now you know I was in instant tears after I saw her just shine! This man took the time to go out of his way to help her feel better and shine like a super star.  Even after giving this to her he walked with her and walked with her giving her more advice. 

 I have never in my life been more impressed by an individual.  This man didn't have to do this for her but he did, he gave time to her. He has made it big and carries his head proud but he is a very humble man.  I am SO very proud of our brave daughter for getting out there! 

 Let it be known,   if Kailtynn starts playing ball and continues through her years, it won't because I got up at 7am to take her to the clinic or because her dad and I support her and travel with her.  It'll be because this ONE man took the time to encourage and motivate a youth he didn't even know.  

Now that's an AMERICAN HERO~! 

Hundreds of tears were shed by the mother through these moments!

People change, things change, priorities change. It's LIfe!

As a therapist change is something I analyse every day.  I always find myself going back to the stages of change model. 

• PreContemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation 
• Action 
• Maintenance

I believe when a person is making a change in their lives they follow this model and most don't even know it exists.  I didn't until I worked in behavioural health.  Since then I hold myself accountable for the changes I make with myself, my career my friends and my family.  I have to because it affects everyone around me at some point in some aspect.  People change over the years.  They become married, have children everything changes.  Goals, career goals, priorities and ethics.  When I think about who I was 13 yrs ago to who I am now I laugh, shake my head and think "what was I thinking".  However, I truly believe our past brings us to who we are today.  

Our individual experiences open our eyes and our heart breaks change our beliefs but our achievements increases our motivation. We are human, you have feelings, I have determination, you have priorities I have career goals.  We all have the drive to be who we desire and in the end we become different people then who we were 10-15-20 yrs ago. 

Lately, I have been looking at things differently in my life, who I spend my time with, who I care about and who truly cares about me.  Wow have things really changed!!!    Approx 6 months ago I spent time with someone who I barely knew.  I realized how amazing she was in so many different ways. Because of our conversations she opened my eyes to some things I didn't ever think of or even consider. In the end it made sense ...I came to realize that I have changed in many different ways which in turn changed my priorities. 

I remember  needing a lot of people in my life and having such a huge desire to be liked and surrounded by people, that's not me anymore. I remember that the words didn't hurt me but I cared in silence, I am not that person anymore.  Words hurt me and now I voice my feelings but protect my heart.  I remember when I would push different things aside and not think of myself, now I am my priority because if I'm not ok I am not a good wife or mother. I am now in the action phase. 

I can guarantee you there are things I wished I did differently in my life, I can kick myself for not being more assertive in the past.  however,  I can promise you I will do it right from this day forward.  I can also tell you those who hurt me aren't going to ever do it again and I will always regret those who I forgot.  I will always remember there's an underlying factor to human behaviour and consider exactly what this post is about..... She changed, he changed and I changed. It's not a bad thing...it's life....it's just how it is. We aren't meant to be who we once were. 

Life goes on.............Right?