You don't need him to know your beautiful

So I spent some time with a friend today who broke my heart. We started having a "catch up " conversation , it was so great seeing her and she started crying.  I was shocked, this individual is always so happy and so amazing and now she's sobbing in my lap.  This woman has everything, home amazing children great friends and a husband of many years.  She cried to me ....and cried and cried, I didn't know what to do.  She then said to me ......"my husband never notices me" he never tells me I'm beautiful and never tells me I look nice " She told me she couldn't' remember the last time he said "you look nice today".  

I was very sad for her, this conversation triggered many memories I had but it wasn't about me.  She pondered on many different reasons why he may not notice her anymore.   They have been married for many years and she feels that maybe he just has become content.

I didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better........but I know what I would do in this situation.  I feel that in this situation when your man stops noticing you and stops complimenting you he's no longer looking at you. Contentment is minor  but when a man stops complimenting his wife, the woman he committed to love and adore for the rest of his life, only mean's he's done and really doesn't feel your beautiful and/or you look nice and all the rest is just to get through the rest of the day.

It's unfortunate but it's reality.  It's hard to hear, or even realize that the man you've committed to for so many years or so little years has stopped feeling that  your beautiful. Women need recognition from their lover, husband , partner ...soul-mate that they are still beautiful and loved. It's just what we need. You can be a CEO, a DOCTOR or WAITRESS ............women are built the same. No matter how strong we are or we portray to be we need to hear from you, it's what drives us to be better, happy and successful.

So I told my friend..........Fuck him.  forget him....Let him forget you because no matter with or with out him you are beautiful, others see you and even though he's your man, if he can't work it, someone else will.

She laughed,............


Then.............we cried!

Don't think I didn't hear you...............

There are times where a person needs to say whats on her mind, at times it may hurt. 

Stay with me

This week was crazy!!! 

I had a few drinks early in the week and ended up spilling my heart out to an old friend who I haven't talked to in months...........someone who has been extremely judgmental over the years, HOWEVER has had great advice even when I didn't want to hear it. I know who I can go to at my very worst and I know who I can't trust. Total shock for Eli and myself.

It sucks for me because my friends are so important to me and when I discover the truth I become so disappointed. I have so many great individuals come in to my world and disappear because of issues that were crazy ridiculous.  The memories stay strong.

Recently I spent time with my adult child in his home.  I cleaned and did dishes all weekend but I LOVED doing that for them and I'll do it again when I'm there next. It was the first time I could be the parent to the adult child and his wife and I LOVED IT. I can't wait until my baby grandchild is born....I am going to have a hard time sharing him.

During this visit I saw my son in a whole different light.  He has a home, he is paying rent and a baby on the way.  As hard as it is I believe he's realizing that it's not about him or her it's about the baby and will be about the baby for the rest of his life. It is hard for him but he is on the road to success .   We can all admit its not easy.  There will be lots of tears, lots of hurt feelings and you will always question yourself as a parent, as an individual, as a man/women.___Mom/dad. 

By no means is being an adult easy.........I'm 44 and I still hate budgeting.  But it's some thing we have to do. A responsibility we have to  endure. 

No matter what you or I have been through we can't deny that we've questioned our parenting at some point in our lives but stood strong when we had to stand TALL with and/or for our children.



Max, if your reading this I've never been so proud of you.......
It's not going to be easy but you can do it
Always remember it's about baby.............not you or her or us!

OMG look at us...........True souls!

 

Two women in my life who touched my soul....they touched my soul like no one EVER has. Us three shared a connection ...we could relate to our day to day goals........brainstorm, never judge, always support.  I had the pleasure to watch these two women grow into amazing professionals.  I will never forget our mandatory coffee time every morning ...this prepared us for the day ahead, we knew we had each other to support , to cry to, to never judge even if our mood was icky. We smiled every day and if we didn't smile we cried.  We knew that no matter what it's us, we were what was going to make it work because we trusted each other, we talked even if we were mad , we cried even if we were embarrassed and solved when we were unsure. 

These women have been the more amazing, intelligent, sincere and truthful individuals that I have ever had the pleasure.  I love you and I thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives. 

 

You two ROCK!!



Daily unfolding.............

Daily we expect things to improve or just amazing things to happen. Daily in my life amazing things happen....no so much for me but for others in my life. Other days it just doesn't turn out the way you want or expect.  I'm on such a unique journey, the people who've already come in and out of my life are extraordinary in there own way I am at awe with what happens.  No matter how much we think we know about ourselves or someone else, tomorrow always surprises us with the worse or best outcome. We watch our children grow up and the challenges they face and the support we give as parents can be rewarding.  We also watch our children fail but continue to give the support they need, ....life lessons.  I wonder how many of us think to ourselves "when do I get a break" or "when will they get a break".

I am very fortunate, and I am so grateful for what I have, I didn't have ALL I wanted growing up...but I always had what I needed.  I've taught my children to respect those who are less fortunate and to give when you can.  I hope that they've learned that there is always someone worse off than we are.  I will be the first person to offer a ride to a stranger, or hand a homeless person a bag of food.  We will be the ones you will see giving as much as we get, it's just who we are.

Our daughter and sons are growing up so fast we are missing so much of their lives.  Kaitlynn lives in the same home and I feel that I blink and she's another 2 yrs in.  This last 2 months she grew another inch so that puts her taller than me at 12yrs old.  I feel some days I am in a whirlwind continuing to be the best mom I can be the best wife I can be and now I get to be a Grandma....WOW...........I get to love and cherish my son and his child.  I am in a place in my life I still won't believe even when I'm standing there looking at him and her.   A blessing in itself. 

Everything happens for a reason............

Since I took my new job I have thought every day that everything happens for a reason.  I truly live by that and every day it proves me the same.  I have had the opportunity to work with an individual who not only is outstanding but an amazing strong woman.  Over the years you have your mentors, your idols  and those who you've learned from and say forever you will remember them because they taught you something. 
Today, without anyone know .......even her I learn from her every day. She walks with the greatest of self respect, shows her du-diligence, remains strong, politically correct and show's every day something I need to learn.  It is rare you come across individuals who make such an impact on your life. 
I have evaluated my years and I have to say that I haven't come across such an amazing woman. 
She will be my friend, my colleague and my teacher not even knowing it. 
I am so grateful I have her to vent to;  express my concerns even when it jibberishhhh...I know I'm going to get a solid answer, a laughing answer or just no answer but with a smile,

that is my answer.............

Everything happens for a reason.

They Raised the bar for all of us........you won't be forgotten

These last 4 months have been not only life changing for me but total eye opening for me. A colleague who I became a great friends with recently  displayed his bravery of life changing decisions.  This not only left me envious of his travels but his dedication to his world that he would leave a job he loves to complete his dreams, his 'bucket list".  However I don't think he's old enough to have that bucket list. he hast he brightest love and dedication. 

I have had the amazing opportunity in the last four months not only to work with a strong, dedicated company but to stand beside outstanding individuals who I call "team" .  Relationships are being built, NOT an easy task. Trust is created along with excitement and motivation to move forward.  What others might of thought of this organization it is so not true, so misunderstood.  Today, I carry such a proud respect for those who fought and hung in there through trials and tribulation.  You are the true hero's.  However, today, new hero's are being created to stand next to you, to learn from you and build from your outcomes and experiences good or bad, you all are our HEROS!

This might sound crazy to a stranger who reads this., I want you to understand an organization near destruction, it was those who stayed and fought who will be remembered and who raised that bar for all of us.

Committment and questions...............

It is a fact that the scariest thing in a person life is commitment. Whether it's a marriage to a man, a marriage to a home or a new vehicle, they are all investments and you work to make them all happy and working right.  I talked to a friend the other day and she was torn...torn between 2 individuals in her life who mean so much and just didn't know which direction to go in.
As a woman you find that you want to reach certain goals in your life ...it doesn't matter what they are you set them for yourself. but once they are set you must reach them or you feel you've failed your self.  In my friends situation she's been married for many years and she's made decisions that affect her family but this time it's about her and she chose happiness. 
There are so many individuals out there today who aren't able to make those decisions, and I think you need to be in a certain place in your life to just say "it's my turn".  God knows I've been through trials through out my life and I can remember the day I decided it's my turn.  From that day forward I made decisions to benefit myself as well as my children.  Some may not have been the best but I believed they were the right ones. 
Many days I recall all these days and years..questioning myself ...........wondering if I've done the right things over the years. when I cried, did I cry for the right reasons?.  When I fought, was the fight a winning battle, when I loved, did I love the right people?
 There are many individuals in my life who I care about and I worry about. Many today have come back and just said "thank you".  That helps me realize the tears the battles and the love wasn't wasted.